Oh, shit! Woo! I told you about
coming up in here like you’re going to
a damn job interview. What’s wrong with my clothes? Oh baby, nothing wrong
with your clothes. Thank you. Just know that if I was
responsible, you’d 100% get the job. I’m not going to a job- With your bitch ass! Called him a bitch ass. He does indeed look
like a bitch ass. A collared shirt buttoned
all the way to top, that’s poor defense. For those of you just joining
us, my name is Tuck Speed.
I’m Morgan Freeman. And it’s been lit today
at the 2018 World Series of Spades.
Live from Jamaica, Queens. Lit indeed. Before we get
into the final hand, let’s take a look
at today’s highlights. Star rookies, cousins Marcus
and Zeek are facing off
against seasoned vets, Uncle Tane and Auntie Keke. Missed deal.
Missed deal. Misdeal.
Nobody even saw the cards. Listen-
Nine of clubs. False start, the cousins are already showing
signs of weakness. They’re weaker
than my love game. Next time, it’s gonna cost you
a trick and a slap up
the side of your head. She gonna kick you
in the throat. Don’t put your hands on me. Don’t do that.
Why is your foot up? Oh, snappy lappy. Fortunately, he gets off
with just a verbal warning. Which can’t be said
for Harvey Weinstein. Should have been focusing
on school instead of out on the streets
selling your fake Picassos, get your ass landed in jail. Hey, don’t worry about me, okay? You need to worry about
that wig you got on your head. For a second, I thought it was
our old family dog, Rufus. It looks like
it’s not real hair. What’s that Ruf? Big dog, you got burnt. Now, keep in mind, winning
is only part of the game. It’s mostly about
who talks the best shit to their loved ones. Hold on Larenz Tate.
That’s my book. I thought it was my turn …
I was- I thought, thought, thought. Don’t comment on my speech. Shady. Do you have ice for that wound? This might be your house,
but it’s my yard baby. That’s my hand.
Ow! I’m hit. Where you all go? While there’s no official
break in spades, when the food comes out,
it’s time to eat. Damn, Unc, six deviled eggs. Shut up. Well, if it’s Auntie Ray’s, who can blame them?
Damn that’s good. Auntie Ray’s Deviled Eggs
is the official sponsor of the 2018 World Series
of Spades. Eat like a pro.
Play like a pro. That brings us to our
final hand, where it’s anyone’s
feelings to catch. I’m about to catch the ‘itis Wait a minute, that’s a club. Nine of clubs. Oh, yeah. What?
This [bleep] reneging. You calling me a cheat? You a cheat,
just like your daddy. If you wasn’t my uncle, I would knock that hat
off your head, right now. I’m surprised,
you even know who it is. You know who my daddy is. With all do respect, Uncle,
please shut the [bleep] up. Hell no. You treat …
I know you-. This is customary to any game. Hey, who she calling? She calling the cops.
Hey. Hold up, there appears to be
some interference on the field. Yes, officer. I’m in someone’s backyard, and
they’re cooking with charcoal. Black people.
Please hurry. It’s like a gang. And that’s the buzzer. When a white woman
calls the authorities. It’s game over. Yet again,
and keeping with tradition, there is no clear winner. [Bleep], we got to go. Oh shit. I got priors. Oh shit. Gotta go.